It's Time To Dance

"HEY, Yas! Why are you wearing a winter hat in spring...?"

"Cause it feels like Christmas time everytime I see you, baby."

Only watch if you have the time. If not, get straight to business, skip the foreplay, and go on down ;D...haha...(sorry. I just had to).

I've missed you, really.

Hives...Hives...Oh, Hives! Where art thou? :D. Gonest, thou arts...

Yeah, so the medication the allergist prescribed has decreased the amount of hives I usually get. I'm really excited about the possibility of me NOT having to deal with them anymore. Pure joy. A burden has been lifted and boy, am I grateful. This is just the first two days, we'll see if this moment will last.

I'm getting rid of a lot lately. It's a nice feeling. Knowing that I'm free helps with my mood shifts for sure. Along with the positive release...I've been distancing myself from other people. It doesn't help longing for something that I obviously CAN'T have. It's gotten to the point where even our friendship is too much to bear. I try my best to ignore them in school. It just messes up my emotions. Well, as much as I like that person, maybe it's best if we just part ways. Not that I would ever admit to anyone how I feel, haha. That would be a little too awkward. Summer is so near. I need to get away.

Someone at school has recently shown some serious interest in me and it's getting a little too much to handle. I always get the creepy people, in a bad way. (Watch the video above for more info).

Our tennis team is going to the playoffs! We're 9-0 so far. Our team is amazing. :D.

My dad is returning next month...I think...Yay?

I'm moving to tumblr...soon...

Miscellaneous Stuff Time:

Following video is just stupidity...Don't watch ;)

I Write Sins Not Tragedies

I'm sitting in Finance. My mind is racing, pacing. Nothing to do but to think about you. I travel through the multi-colored corridors of my mind and all I see is you...and you...and you. Suddenly the colors fade and the walls are a deep black. I start to think about me. Just me. I can no longer see. Arms outstretched I feel for the dark walls. My fingers graze air. There's nothing there. Vast emptiness surrounds me and my knees tremble. I sob loudly and my body fails me. Painfully, I hit the cold, dark floor. My tears flow incessantly. My heart rate steadily rises. My body, as if struck by lighting, jerks uncontrollably. I'm numb to the pain now. It's all over. I've let go, completely. I've given up, completely. I have one last thought, one last memory.

You.

The darkness dims and the colors return. The tears cease as I regain my strength. I claw at the reappeared wall for support.

You...and you...and you.

I can walk now.

I'm sitting in Finance. My mind is racing...pacing.

You and you and you alone.
_________________________________
The allergist I went to yesterday said that I'm highly allergic to birch trees, dust mites, and cat dander. I haven't humped any trees lately nor have I eaten any cat dander. It's probably those dust mites. Damn those microscopic bastards X__X.

The last three days have been really turbulent. The start of my week was amazing, but today was just extremely sad. Nothing in particular caused this, really. Those thoughts have just started to come back. I'm vulnerable now, they can easily overtake me. I have to practice my fake smile once again. My eyes will give me away instantly, but no one looks hard enough to notice anyway.

**Significance of the "I write sins not tragedies." title is that it was playing in my Finance class when I started to drift off.**

My first video...and I'm super camera shy...so...don't hold it against me, yo.

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Bulletproof

First things first....

Hey there ツ. I haven't updated in awhile. This feels kind of weird...hmm. Okay, I'm just going to ignore the queer feelings and type about what I've neglected to update on.

Yesterday, on April 16, 2010, I participated in the National Day of Silence. It truly was an amazing experience. This was my first time participating. A few friends of mine did it last year, but they didn't go to the same school as I went to and I didn't want to be alone. Luckily, this year, a few other kids participated in my school and it went pretty well. I was nervous at first because I didn't know what kind of reaction I would get from my teachers and the other students, but I really didn't face much opposition. I slipped up a few times, but overall I stuck with it. There was a tennis match (we're 5-0 in the season so far by the way) after school and I had to have someone else call out my score for my opponent. I even gave the opposing team speaking cards explaining why I was silent. After the day was over it felt like I couldn't even speak at all. It was like I was afraid to hear my own voice. Besides, I didn't really have anything to say. The silence spoke volumes.

That Friday was also my school's annual international festival. Gosh, Friday was just an awesome, awesome day.

After the festival was over and everything was all cleaned up, I walked over to my bookbag and surprise, surprise...some lintlicking loserface decided to steal my umbrella. My phone had just shut down because it likes to do that sometimes so I couldn't call my mum for a rescue mission. It was pouring outside and I didn't have a jacket with a hood, not to mention all of the sport gear I was carrying severely weighed me down. I ended up borrowing a friend's phone and texting my mum repeatedly. It was pretty late at that time and my school's security guards were about to leave. I wasn't gonna stand outside in the rain getting soaked so I walked to dunkin donuts with a friend. Even through all of this I was still able to smile. As the rain picked up speed and I was successfully sopping wet, a smile escaped and it just wouldn't dissipate. My friend looked at me like I was crazy. Why the hell would I be smiling at a time like this? Through the foggy frames of my glasses I just stared at him with the stupidest, surest smile and he understood. I said nothing, but the silence said everything. We walked along, hand-in-hand, silently analyzing the profound meaning the day had for us. He didn't participate, but he knew how much it meant to me and I loved him for understanding that. Softly, I grasped his hand and interlocked our fingers, palm-to-palm, finger-between-finger. All of the positive energy I gathered that day was sent to him. He responded by holding on even tighter. After awhile of holding hands, I playfully pinched his palm and he let go. I just wanted him to know how much I cared, as a friend, and how much it meant to me that he was supporting what I was doing.

Did I mention I spoke to someone about starting the GSA? No? Well I did ツ. It's going to be a grueling process, but I'm in it for the long haul.

Friday...was...freaking...amazing. Wish I had written sooner, I had so much more to say.

*sigh*.

Miscellaneous Stuff Time:

I have an appointment with an allergist on Tuesday morning. *Fingers crossed*

Today is my grandfather's (on my mum's side) birthday .

My grandmother (on my dad's side) called me today asking if I got anymore piercings because she looked at my credit card statement. She's hilarious. She's okay now for the time being.

My little sister, Maya, told me I dressed like Ellen, haha.

I especially want a certain someone to read the lyrics of the song my title is linked to...you know who you are. I'll always care, but we need our space. ツ.

Random picture I took today on a random bed. Then I had some fun with it and produced this peculiar baby:

Break

I care less and less every day. You won't draw me back in. Just stop. Let me breathe.

I've moved on.

Darkness is seeping through once again. Why does this happen?

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry