Gone Forever?

Last night/this morning I got into a huge fight with my best friend, Alex. It was over some really juvenile BS that could easily have been avoided. I thought that I had settled the whole tiff between Jason and Alex on Saturday night when we had our reparative meeting/session at Starbucks. Frappuccinos are supposed to heal all wounds... Well, it didn't work. Alex's friends decided to steal Jason's number from his phone and now they're harassing him. Jason is 20 years old and Alex and his friends are 15 years old. They don't know Jason and Alex barely knows Jason. Jason doesn't deserve to be prank called by bothersome, immature, 15 year olds. I was extremely angry when Jason called to tell me what Alex's friends were doing to him. I feel like I'm at fault because I introduced Alex and Jason. I've spoken to Alex before about his friends and he knows that I dislike them, but it really shouldn't concern me because he can choose to hang out with whomever he so chooses. I just don't appreciate that his drama with his friends is trickling over into my life. I don't like drama and the people that it tends to follow.

It made matters worse when I confronted Alex about it and his response was that Jason and I take ourselves too seriously, we should just sit back and wait for his friends to get bored with it. No, sorry, but I won't let anyone think they can push me around. Anyway, the argument didn't go too well and now I'm left confused. I feel like I don't even know him anymore because of the people he chooses to associate with. I don't really understand how he can tell me, emphatically, that he hates them, but then go to the park and kiss their gross teen asses every day after school. I guess I just don't understand fake friendships or why people surround themselves with them. Maybe we aren't meant to be friends.

This is just happening at the wrong time. My mother is on edge so she has the munchies for my happiness and sanity. I'm constantly in other arguments that are all centered around jealousy. I can't spend time with one person without someone else thinking there's some ulterior motive attached to it. I get myself into trouble with every hand movement, hug, step, nod, word, or toe wiggle.

Insanity. I could use some stability, but I hear that it's pretty rare and in consequence extremely expensive...

Miscellaneous Stuff Time:

~There's a moment when I look at you and no speech is left in me: my tongue breaks, fire races through my skin and I tremble and grow pale, for I am dying of such love, or so it seems to me.~

Haven't seen any traces of the hives for two days. I haven't gone outside since yesterday. Maybe it has something to do with coming in to direct contact with the outside world...I wonder what it is that's out there...

We're reading "A Clockwork Orange" in book club now...another book I read over the summer. Glad it was really good. I'm willing to read it again :D.

Ricky Martin has officially come out :).

Day of Silence on April 16, 2010.

I embed hidden links to the song I base my title off of. :). So click my titles from now on for some jams, haha ;).